talking to a wall

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“good afternoon, sir, i’m from [the phone company].”
“hello. have you been calling us all morning?”
“yes, sir.”
“ah, right, i’m sorry but we don’t use this line anymore. we have two phone lines but we only use one.”
“yes, i am aware of that.”
“right, so you have heard the message on the answerphone then.”
“yes, it says i have to dial another number.”
“indeed. so why don’t you?”
“because this is the number i have on my computer screen.”
“but if the answering machine says you have to dial another number…”
“but you’re answering the phone now, aren’t you?”
“yes, because the clicking drove me crazy.”
“clicking, sir?”
“yes, the clicking. the other line is disconnected but when people call that number, the phone connection thingie makes a clicking noise. you have been calling all morning so i’ve been hearing clicks every ten minutes or so. it drove me nuts, so i reconnected the phone to see who was the smart guy calling. turns out to be you.”
“right, because i have this number.”
“yes, but you could also write down the number mentioned on the answering machine and call it instead.”
“well, can’t you reconnect your phone like you have done now?”
“no, because we don’t use this line anymore, and in fact it’s going to be cancelled soon. and everybody else dials the right number, or does so after hearing the message.”
“but this is the number i have on my computer screen.”
“well then i suggest you change it to the right number because when this conversation is finished i’m going to disconnect it again and connect the other one, the right one.”
“but if the computer says this is your number… this *is* the lubacov residence i’m talking to, right?”
“yes.”
“so if this is the number i have on my computer, this is the number i dial.”
“right. so if you change the number, take of the zero at the end and replace it with a one, and you save the changes on your computer, you’ll dial the right number next time.”
“i can’t do that, sir.”
“why not?”
“because this is the number i have on my computer.”
“right. well, i suggest you change it anyway.”
“well, sir, i’m sorry, but i suggest you reconnect the phone again.”
“sigh. what are you calling for, anyway?”
“i would like to ask you a question.”
“right. well, go ahead.”
“do you use a phone?”
“….”
“we have this great offer for you. if you change your phone company to us we can give you…”
“sorry, miss?”
“yes?”
“i’m not interested.”
“oh. can i use this number for future offerings?”
“by all means, miss.”
“thank you, sir. have a pleasant day.”
“thank you. goodbye.”

Posted in txt

4 thoughts on “talking to a wall

  1. ARRRGGGLLLL….
    Lijkt wel op UPC….:
    *werk al jaren met chello voor internet*…
    Bellen op …”Hallo meneer…ik bel u voor een speciale aanbieding…heeft ie soms interesse in kabelinternet…”
    Ik :…”Duh….”
    *Hangt op*

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