friday five

my first friday five:

1. have you ever had braces? any other teeth trauma?
no braces. my teeth trauma: when i was little our dentist used to say “what good teeth you have, my boy!” and then he would kiss my mother’s feet. then we switched to dr. death, who filled my mouth with lead. after a couple of years he was expelled from the dentist’s association for making holes in people’s mouths and filling them just so that he could get rich. bastard.

2. ever broken any bones?

3. ever had stitches?
no, sorry.

4. what are the stories behind some of your [physical] scars?
i was riding my bike once when i was about 8. the girl i fancied was walking by and i wanted to show her how i could ride without holding the handles. it went great, and i turned around, still riding, to see if she was looking. i fell, and the rusty end of the right handle made a nice circle right under my ribs. it wasn’t really a big scar, you could see it for about a year or so, then it disappeared. does that count?

5. how do you plan to spend your weekend?
i smoke two joints in the morning, i smoke two joints at night. i smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright. i smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war, i smoke two joints before i smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more